Patrick 2, a gnome wizard, second in a line of Irishmen destined to conquer the Mazes of Menace, delved deeper than any before or after him. Through the blind caverns of the Gnomish Mines he stumbled until he came upon a stair descending to a lit space hallway.
Patrick 2 pushed ahead through the hall of stone, opening a door into an intersection with many unseen paths before and behind him. Immediately from two directions, monkeys began to wheel down the hall toward Patrick. Patrick hefted his staff and swung at the first monkey to reach him, but it didn’t attack. Instead, it dodged Patrick’s swing and, grasping nimbly, slipped a ring from Patty’s finger. It began to run away, and before Patrick could even realize what was taken from him, the other monkeys leapt on him and stole more– his cloak, his gold. One of them even tried to make off with the shoes on his feet! The monkeys flew in every direction down different hallways.
All hell broke loose. Patrick noticed that his precious ring of teleport control was taken, but he didn’t know which monkey took it. Without hesitating further, he dashed north after a pair of monkeys. Throwing caution to the wind, he chased the monkeys past monsters, rooms, and strange watchmen. Patrick left his cat behind, who began immediately killing and eating gnomes, rats, and the human watchmen that prowled this level of the dungeon.
Patrick chased and slew monkeys with abandon. He followed one into a lit open space and found his cat, busy devouring a watchman. Patrick continued his chase into a shopkeeper’s chamber and finally cornered what appeared to be the last monkey. He slew it with a dagger, and the dead monkey dropped Patrick’s precious teleportation control ring on the ground of the store. The shopkeeper smiled.
“For you, esteemed sir; only 400 zorkmids for this ring of teleport control.”
Izchak, the purveyor of Minetown’s lighting shop, took the ring and offered to sell it back to Patrick for a hefty price. Patrick was rich, of course, somehow amassing over 900 zorkmids during the early days of his quest, but the thought of buying his own ring made him uneasy. Noises outside indicated that the cat was still fighting and murdering outside. Patrick considered throwing some paralysis potions at Izchak. Then he considered trying to fight him outright, but he had a feeling the shopkeeper was used to rabble and wouldn’t go down easy. Suddenly, an imp appeared at the door of the shop.
“I would fart in thy direction, but it would improve thy smell!”
Patrick and the Imp did battle for a time, and Patrick was wounded deeply. Feeling desperate, he finally began to loose all of his magical power upon the imp. He fired volley after volley of wizard blast at the imp until it exploded and died. Patrick promptly paid the shopkeeper for his ring and stepped outside and reunited with his cat. With the ring of teleport control coupled with his ring of teleportation, Patrick could instantly travel to any location on the dungeon floor. He thought this was a pretty important ability and didn’t want to lose it. It could save his life in a pinch!
A strange yellow slime mold approached Patrick and his cat slew it. He decided to eat the mold to try and absorb its intrinsic characteristics and become more powerful.
Wow! Great stuff!
A demilich, a really terrifying indescribable demon, suddenly appeared before Patrick. He freaked out and blinked. A unicorn’s horn appeared, and the demon was replaced with a cave man. Weird stuff started happening all around Patrick, like the whole world was flickering around him.
A frog creature appeared and Patrick decided to battle it. It became a killer bee and bit him. Patrick swung at it with his staff and a dragon appeared before him. Patrick somehow missed it. The shifting form bit him and Patrick sickened and died on the spot.
Yeah, Patrick was hallucinating from eating a yellow slime mold. The demilich was actually his cat, and the ferocious killer bee dragon shaman was actually a rabid rat. The rat bit Patrick and he contracted rabies and died.
Darn! My best run yet, by far!
~ ~ ~
That, my friends, is NetHack. It was released in the 1980s, but the interactions of all the different elements of the game engine are so open ended that emergent gameplay narratives arise naturally throughout the game world. The monkeys made off with Patrick 2’s valuables, were chased through Minetown, and dropped their stolen goods inside a shop. The shopkeeper claimed the items for himself and would not let Patrick leave without paying the price. Meanwhile, chaos from Patrick’s cat outside and the constant flow of monsters through the town added to the confusion of the moment, giving me as the player less time to think all of my decisions through.
I was deeply riveted! And I was also really sad that I died. It was a funny death, but I would have liked to keep playing.
I have played many lives since, probably 20+, but none have made it back to Minetown. Many of my deaths are more mundane: starving to death while stumbling through barren caverns, or being attacked by water moccasins because I quaffed from a well, or dying from a cave in because I read an evil scroll.
Basically, taking risks in NetHack can result in instant death. But sometimes the risks are hilarious and need to be taken! Hopefully I will improve with time and be able to tell which risks are worth taking and when..?
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